A LETTER TO LINDA

It was many years ago when we met, you and I

You lived with your family on the Baldwin Park street

we moved to, we being Bris, the kids and I .

We were all so young then...Bris was 39, I was 34, our kids,

Linda, Dwight and Candy were 15, 13 1/2 and almost 11 .

You were just 18, a young wife and mother of a 10-month old,

Michael.

You kids all became friends very quickly, but I was too shy

to go and meet you all.

Later, when Mike had his first birthday party, our kids went and

told us about how you let Mike dive into that cake, and what a mess

he made. I thought that was awful ! Never had heard of

letting a baby make such a mess. Pretty uptight, me !

You kids would come to our house, only 2 houses away,

and make yourselves to home, while I sort-of hid in

the bedroom. I was always like that, dumb, I now know.

Anyway, you guys kept coming, day after day, and I

finally decided that I couldn't stay hidden in that bedroom

forever, so came out to be with everybody.

It was hard for me, at first, but after a while, you

were pretty much like our own .

Your Mom and I became best friends, and I so enjoyed

her company. She was very unlike me, but we got

along really well.

Imagine my shock when she told me that she

had the boys doing 'girl' chores, like dishes, laundry

and ironing, etc.

That floored me, b/c I had

always believed in the traditional roles

for boys and girls. Boys did things like

taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, helping Dad

with car repairs, and learning how to change

tires, etc. Girls did dishes, sewing, laundry, ironing, etc.

Your Mom opened my eyes, and taught me a few things !

Somewhere along the way, I learned that she and

your Dad had recently lost two children, 3-month old

Jerry, and Susie's 3-year old twin, Sandy.

There were seven of you then, and as we got to know

each of you, and your personalities, we liked you all

so much. You wormed your way into our hearts,

and it was that way with your Mom, Carol, too.

She treated our kids just like her own.

And, so it was, that we each had 10 kids.

Bris and I would take one or another of you camping

up to Mammoth, or to Goleta Beach, down by Santa Barbara,

and to other places, too.

You had two other babies by then, Billy, then

Pat, and we would go to Goleta, babies and all,

and Linda would help you with the babies, changing,

feeding, and playing with them.

I just pretty much sat on a blanket on the sand,

and watched everyone swimming, etc. There

were times when I'd dig up clams, pick up

pretty little stones and sea-shells, while you all

were either swimming, playing with babies, etc.

Some of the time I spent cooking over the little

BBQ pit, or making sandwiches, etc.

Then I'd wash what dishes there were.

Some of the kids would go for a swim, with

Bris supervising. He could swim...I couldn't, so

he was the logical one to watch over all of them.

It was so funny, to see little skinny April, with her

bathing suit hanging on her little body. Bris took

at least one picture of her, walking on the beach, with

a towel draped around her, after coming out of

the water. She was so thin back then.

That beach, Goleta, had other interesting

things to do. there was an airport where we

could watch planes take off and land, just

private planes, Piper cubs, etc.

This was mostly Bris's thing. the kids and

I weren't that thrilled with it.

There were also some cows grazing right next

to the beach.

University of California at Santa Barbara was

right there. we could see the college from there

on the beach.

Little did we know that years later, Candy and Reggie's

son, Micah, would be attending that very college !!

We also could walk to the town of Goleta to buy

groceries or takeout from the big Taco Bell right

there in the center of town, or anything else we needed.

Sometimes we'd go barefooted to shop in the town.

We loved that beach and the town, and we'd go

often.

It was so little used, that we felt like it was our

very own, private beach !

Went on that way for years, and then, after a

period of not going for a while, were we

surprised to see it had been discovered by

some other people, and after a short time, it

was overrun by folks, just like any other beach !

Never found another beach like that one.

So sad.

But we had Mammoth, and Seal Beach, and our

long, country drives to places like the town of

Arlington, right next to Riverside, I think it was.

Wherever we went, we had either you and

the babies, or some of your siblings...think

we nearly always had a Teague or two

with us.

Once we went to a town with a pier, and one

of the souvenir shops had two large shells

outside, on either side of the doorway.

Well, Candy and Susie each sat in one

of those shells, and Bris took a picture of them.

They looked so cute !

Wonder whatever happened to that snapshot ?

Maybe that year when Candy and Linda

decided to make you that special album

for your birthday, or maybe Mothers' Day,

and I gathered up all the pictures of your kids

that I could find for that album, the one of

Candy and Susie sitting in those shells might

have been one that I gave them for that.

After all, you had a lot to do with Susie's

upbringing, so it would have been the natural

thing to do.

You helped your Mama a lot in that

respect, being mother to your sibs

some of the time.

You followed in your Mom's footsteps, for a time,

doing nursing care for the elderly. You learned

a lot in that time, and was able to help all

of us whenever we had some health problem

or other. All we had to do was ask, and you

usually knew just the right thing to say or do

to help us.

It was so neat, how all you kids came

together, and we all pretty much

functioned as one family !

I used to think that Dwight and April would

end up together, Richard and Candy would

be a couple ( then, later, I thought Donald

and Candy ) would join up.

Linda was crazy for Vinny, and I thought

they might wind up together.

Well, none of those pairings took place, and

in the early 70's, you and Dwight got

together. That was a surprise, to me, anyway.

I thought April had her sights set on him !

After some years, you and Dwight went to Las Vegas

and got married and raised your kids together.

Both you and Dwight became ill later on,

and you guys had to struggle to find the strength

to raise three very active boys . Besides your health

issues, you were plagued by financial problems.

Life became very hard, but you both kept

plugging away, and got the boys raised despite

the hardships.

You guys bought a mobile home in Tehachapi

right by the mountains. You both loved it there

in that beautiful setting. Had a fire there, but

bounced back from that. Stayed a while longer,

then you moved to Oregon

and lived there for some time.

Some years later, you came back to

California, the Northern area, and settled

down in Stockton, where Bill and his

family had bought a home.

Bad health continued to plague both

of you, and you guys were in and out

of hospitals .

You, Linda, had a hernia procedure at the very

beginning of 1993. That became infected,

and you had another operation to correct

that. But, it didn't, and you had to endure

yet another operation. One after another,

making a total of either 5 or 6 surgeries

in all, for that one hernia.

Then, you developed another hernia, right

on top of the original one, which still

wasn't fixed !! You went for years, suffering

with the two hernias, until about 9 months ago,

when you had surgery for one of them.

You came out of that surgery with flying colors.

Whenever you and I spoke on the phone, you

had really changed. Your voice had a lilt to

it, and you seemed genuinely happy, for

the first time in years. I could almost see

and hear you singing, smiling broadly.

Your whole mood was one of peace and joy.

You laughed easily...you were on the road

to better health than you'd had in years !

You were like the old Linda, of the

twinkling brown eyes, the sparkling

personality, the friend we used to have,

in whom we could confide.

September came, and with it, devastation,

and hopelessness, as the hernia became infected

and one thing led to another, and sadly,

inexcusably, you were torn from the bosom

of your family, gone too soon, due to negligence

and human fallibility !!

We all have lost someone dear to us, someone

we will miss beyond mere physical presence, we

will miss your smiling face, your unfailing

optimism, no matter what would happen. I feel

this wonderful thing happened with you,

after you found God, and let Him into your life.

That is what gave you the courage to go

through the second hernia surgery, confident

that it would take care of the problem, once

and for all time.

That didn't happen, and we have lost a

great friend. Yes, you were a friend to all

of us...kids, husband, grandkids, siblings.

We miss you now and will miss you always .

You were a big part of our lives.

I love you, and everyone in our huge

family loves and misses you.

We have a large hole in our hearts, that can only

be filled when we re-unite on the other side.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

Your mother-in-law, and your friend.

Dot