LOVE LOST

Seeing, not with the eyes, but

With every beat of the heart

Feeling, not with touch, but with

The soul's yearning

Wanting, with every nerve a-tingling

Yet, unsure,

Turning, walking away,

Unfulfilled

Never knowing he, too,

Yearned

And felt, and wanted,

But, lacking the courage

To reach out...

Sadly, he watched as she

Walked away.

Two souls, never knowing

What might have been

Never tasting

The love that was waiting

This is a departure for me,

something I haven't tried before.

Not feeling really comfortable

with this style, but, seeing

the success of others, thought

I'd give it a try.

What do you think ? Should I

do more like this, or stick

with what seems to be

what you like, what has worked,

so far, anyway.

Let me know what you

honestly think. I value your

criticism.

Love you all. Keep being

kind to each other, always.

D

DESTINY

Before we ever came to Earth

We wrote our destiny

Of how our lives would unfold

Of how our lives would be

The happy times; the bad ones

Were scripted long ago

We made our choices way back then

Of how our lives would flow

We set down all the illnesses

The many kinds of pain

We chose the things that 'happen'

Repeating them again

We knew just what was needed

From the previous mistakes

Which wrongs should now be righted

Before our soul awakes

For once our journey's over

And we go Home to stay

We can look back at the lives we lived

And we can finally say

Although it took us many lives

And life on Earth was Hell

We stuck to what we scripted

We learned our lessons well

Well, now that I have maps to look at, am finding a few mistakes in my previous

writings. Nothing glaring, just mistaken faulty memories of a few things.

Nothing major, but I like to be as accurate as possible when relating these childhood memories. : )

First of all, the high school some of us attended, Roxbury Memorial High School, was NOT at Warren and Quincy streets, like I'd always thought. According to the map, it was on Townsend St., near Humboldt Ave. It looks like Quincy turned into Townsend, and if that's correct, you can see why I always thought it was on Quincy St. Humboldt Ave. runs parallel to Warren St. but further up.

Next mistake was the park we went to as children, and in which the picture that your cousin Sue blew up and framed for us, took place. It was NOT Warren St. Park. It was Washington Park, on Washington St. Boy, did I have these things wrong. I'm so

glad to have these street maps, so I can see the mistakes, and can correct them. I want you kids to have as accurate a rendering of events as possible.

Next is a really minor goof. Remember I said the little neighborhood store, Mary's, was on the corner of Ingleside at Blue Hill Ave. ? Mistaken again. When looking at the map, I could see that it was on a closer street than that, on the corner of Dove St. and B. H. Ave.

As I continue finding any mistakes, or misperceptions, I'll post them. May not mean anything to you kids, but I've always wanted to be correct whenever possible.

Boy, sometimes our brains get an idea, and we assume it's the right one. Look at how many years I've had these incorrect perceptions ! Hahaha...shows that these old brains of ours can really fool us sometimes !

I'm SOooo glad to have these maps...they help so much.

Oh, maybe you've noticed a street there, near Maywood, called Tupelo . That's where Louie West and family lived. He's the family friend who took Grandpa to the hospital when he severed an artery years ago, while carving a turkey, remember ?

Ok, this is gonna be a short one...just wanted to make these corrections.

I hope your cousin Sue is full of excitement and renewed hope for her future. She

should have everything she needs now to conduct her life in the way she wants,

and find some joy and happiness in her life. I'll keep praying for her, and always

hold her in my heart. I love her very much .

You, my sweet, oh, so precious children, are always in my heart, and my thoughts,

and will remain there always, now and forever.

Be good and kind to one another, always, and love and show forgiveness if and when it ever becomes necessary.

Find the joyful moments and cherish them.

I love you all more than words can say. you know that. I am so proud of all of you,

and so thankful you chose me to be your Mom.

More later.

D

MORE HAPPINESS

The flat we lived in on Blue Hill Ave, was on the second floor, over a Hardware store, Kramer's.

Anne, who was 19, got a job there, don't know what her work was, though. That flat was very close to the corner of Quincy St.

Phyllis was in Patrick T. Campbell Jr. High. Betty was at Horace Mann School, and Paul was at Phillips Brooks Elementary, across the Avenue, and down a ways on Quincy St. along with me, I think .

Fay and I would walk home from school, as far as Blue Hill Ave. I would go across, and walk the few steps to Maywood St. up a few houses to my home, right there, and she would have to walk way up the Avenue to her home. Think she was too far out of the district to be going to our school, so her folks must have gotten permission to have her attend there. I don't remember Paul walking back and forth with me, but he must have. I remember him going to our previous school at Julia Ward Howe, and us being together there.

On winter days when I stayed home, for whatever reason, I'd look out the bedroom window that overlooked the Avenue, and watch people trying to walk in all the dirty slush from the snow, and all the cars and streetcars going by. That was the most cars I ever saw any place, because it was a main thoroughfare. Seemed like an awful lot of them.

But once we moved from there to 61 Maywood St. just two streets over from Quincy St., we hardly ever saw a car on our street. We kids could play in the street sometimes, without much chance of getting run over. Mostly what traffic there was there were horse-drawn wagons, driven by men yelling out their wares, fruit and vegetables, mostly, and the rag man who collected rags, newspapers, and odd things like aluminum foil or the balls of string my father saved, etc. That guy would holler 'Rags, any old rags ' ! Then, if my Dad had anything to sell, he or Mamma would let the man know to come up the three flights to our flat.

You can look at that map now to see how close we were to school, and to the Savin St. Clinic, that was a block long, from Savin St. to Maywood, because of that big fenced-off cemented area, where I've mentioned before how we got under the sprinklers there in the summertime. I don't know what the purpose of all that area...don't remember ever seeing cars parked in there. Odd.

Anyway, by looking at the map, you can picture some of the things. How about the big, green water fountain I've spoken of before ? It was right on the sidewalk, near to the street, right between Savin St. and Maywood St, halfway between. can't you just picture that ??

To go to Kasanof's Bakery, we would walk from our flat there on Maywood, down to Blue Hill Ave, just a short walk, then, go left on B. H. Ave, just another short walk, and we were at the bakery ! If we were going to Dewey St. Drugstore, we had to cross the Avenue, and continue walking another short way to get there.

Sometimes, during the winter, Mamma would send Paul and I, pulling his wagon, to the National D store to get bags of 'coke', a fuel for the stove. It was cheaper than coal. Our Daddy had hurt his back from all the bags he used to haul on his back, and it caused a hump from all the coke he carried, so when we were old enough, we would do it, with the wagon.

The National D store was not a supermarket, much smaller, and painted a bright blue. It was just a little further than Dewey Drugs, on that same side of the street.

Right ON Dewey St. was a little Mom and Pop store, where we could get cups of sherbet, or 5 cent grab-bags full of candy. You didn't know what kind of candy until it was opened. Usually, they put some pretty good stuff in there ! Didn't get those too often...nickels were hard to come by.

One of the streets you can see on the map is Waverly. The Pastor of our church, Dudley St. Baptist church, lived there with his wife. Don't recall if they had a family or not. They were very sweet to us kids, had us to their home sometimes. I've mentioned before, how Pastor Brooks looked a lot like the Monopoly game man, a little chubby man like that, mustache and all. such a nice man, too. He would give all us kids a geranium plant during church services, to take home to our mothers on, I think, Mothers' Day. I was always thrilled to have something to give to Mamma !!

Ok, think that's enough for today. Now you can have some fun looking at the street map, and putting all the stories together with where everything happened. I hope you have fun doing it !

Until next time, I love you all so much, my precious children, and grandchildren., nieces and nephews. You all mean the world and more, to me. Always stick together, and be kind to one another .

D

HAPPY DISCOVERY

Yesterday, I decided to Google a bakery from the neighborhood I lived in as a child.

The bakery is still located where it was way back in the 1940's, in Roxbury, Massachusetts, where I and all my siblings were born and raised . On Blue Hill Avenue.

Actually, the bakery isn't there, but the land is, over 3 acres. A new development is being planned and built there, more housing for the people living in the area .

That bakery, Kasanof's, had some of the best bread, and desserts one could ever hope to eat !

They are still in existence, just in different locations. Wonder if their desserts are anywhere near the succulent goodness they once were ! When you bought a piece of cheesecake, or mocha cake, or fruit squares, etc., you were in for a taste treat like no other !! Couldn't beat the price, either ! The portions were huge !! And for 15 cents each !! More than enough for two people to have their fill !

My big sister, Anne, would hand me the 15 cents ( no tax ) and send me to Kasanof's for one of their immense chunks of delicious cheesecake. When I brought it back, she'd cut off a big piece for me, and we'd eat it right there in her bedroom...yummmmmmm !!! So good ! Any time she asked me to go for some, I didn't hesitate, b/c I knew she'd reward me with a big, old piece of it !! Mmmm, those were the days !

All their goodies were so tasty ! The fruit squares, as they were called, were of such variety ! I remember that my sister, Phyllis's favorite was the fig square. I had a lot of 'favorites'...the lemon, the apple, the blueberry...maybe others, can't recall. They were so delicious, and, as mentioned before, huge portions !! Fifteen cents was a lot of money in those days, but you got your money's worth, that's for sure !!

Mamma would send us to buy the day-old bread, for a dime, I think. Good bread, cheap price. Loved their rye bread, either the 'Jewish' rye, or the pumpernickel rye...good stuff !!

So, as I said, finding the bakery was so wonderful...lots of childhood memories tied up in that bakery, and the field behind it, one we kids called 'The Tannery'.

Better yet, was seeing a street map of that old neighborhood, all those wonderful, old streets still there, in the order in which I remember them . Each of those streets hold fond memories for me !

When we moved from Willis Terrace down near Dudley St. way back in the 1930's, some time after my brother, Paul, was born, we moved to Dewey St., quite a distance away. That had to be by horse and wagon, b/c my Dad never drove, as far as I know, and we were still in the transition from horse-drawn wagons to cars, the tail-end of that era.

I was probably about 5 years old when that move from 4 Willis Terrace, to 24 Dewey St. was made, so maybe early in 1935, I'm guessing.

Dewey St. was hilly. The top of it was at Blue Hill Ave., then it sloped down, and we lived at the last house on one side, number 24, on the bottom floor. the young guys, Tony and at least one brother, and, I guess, their parents, lived on the second, or middle, floor. they were always nice to all of us. The boys delivered ice, in a truck, not a wagon pulled by a horse. They're the ones, who, as I mentioned in one of my earlier 'Memories' posts, took me to the hospital, Boston City Hospital, wrapped up in a blanket, when I was 6 years old. Now I forget what for, maybe pneumonia ? Hope that info is in another memory post, b/c I'm drawing a blank just now. : )

On the top, or third floor, lived Sonny Spring and his family. He was bigger than me (wasn't everybody), and maybe a year older. Or not...maybe the same age. He was my 'boyfriend' . In my mind, anyway ! Neat boy...used to give me rides on the scooter he made, from a wooden crate, and a thick, short board, on which he nailed some old-fashioned roller skates. He used to let me sit in the box, and he'd give me rides in our neighborhood. That was fun !

During winter time, when there was ice in the gutter, from when there had been rain, and it would freeze, I'd slide on that little bit of ice. Thought that was fun. Simple pleasures ! Oh, the school I attended was John Winthrop Elementary. It was on the street running along the bottom of Dewey St. Not sure of that street's name. There's one on the map, beginning with the letter D, maybe that was it.

Then, around late 1939, or early 1940, from Dewey St. we moved to 13 Maywood St. on the Warren St. end of Maywood (look at the map and you can see those areas). Again, Daddy packed up the horse and wagon. I've mentioned this before, also. Stayed there not too long, Attended Julia Ward Howe Elementary while at that address ! That was close to Nana Lambert's house, so Paul and I would sometimes go to see her. Remember I mentioned that she and her husband had a dog, Peggy, who had a litter of puppies one day while we were there, and we got to see them being born ?

I remember we lived on Blue Hill Ave. in 1940, and the first half of 1941. While there, attended Phillips Brooks Elementary . Stayed there until getting promoted from the 6th grade. That was maybe in 1942. When we moved there, I met Fay Sodekson, who became my best friend. She and her family were Jewish, but don't think they were orthodox . Never heard Fay speak of going to Temple, or of going to Hebrew classes like some of the boys in the neighborhood did. Maybe the girls didn't get to go. Anyway, Fay and I went to Phillips Brooks together, then later, to Patrick T. Campbell Jr. High, and, later yet, to Roxbury Memorial High school. She and I were very close, so close, we stole together ...once ! Real hard-boiled criminals, we were !! : )

On this note, think I'm gonna stop for now. will write more later.

Loving all this reminiscing, since my 'happy discovery' yesterday, and want to write the rest, but tired now, so will pick up where I'm leaving off, later on.

I love this, and love sharing my happiness with you.

Until later.

D