MORE HAPPINESS

The flat we lived in on Blue Hill Ave, was on the second floor, over a Hardware store, Kramer's.

Anne, who was 19, got a job there, don't know what her work was, though. That flat was very close to the corner of Quincy St.

Phyllis was in Patrick T. Campbell Jr. High. Betty was at Horace Mann School, and Paul was at Phillips Brooks Elementary, across the Avenue, and down a ways on Quincy St. along with me, I think .

Fay and I would walk home from school, as far as Blue Hill Ave. I would go across, and walk the few steps to Maywood St. up a few houses to my home, right there, and she would have to walk way up the Avenue to her home. Think she was too far out of the district to be going to our school, so her folks must have gotten permission to have her attend there. I don't remember Paul walking back and forth with me, but he must have. I remember him going to our previous school at Julia Ward Howe, and us being together there.

On winter days when I stayed home, for whatever reason, I'd look out the bedroom window that overlooked the Avenue, and watch people trying to walk in all the dirty slush from the snow, and all the cars and streetcars going by. That was the most cars I ever saw any place, because it was a main thoroughfare. Seemed like an awful lot of them.

But once we moved from there to 61 Maywood St. just two streets over from Quincy St., we hardly ever saw a car on our street. We kids could play in the street sometimes, without much chance of getting run over. Mostly what traffic there was there were horse-drawn wagons, driven by men yelling out their wares, fruit and vegetables, mostly, and the rag man who collected rags, newspapers, and odd things like aluminum foil or the balls of string my father saved, etc. That guy would holler 'Rags, any old rags ' ! Then, if my Dad had anything to sell, he or Mamma would let the man know to come up the three flights to our flat.

You can look at that map now to see how close we were to school, and to the Savin St. Clinic, that was a block long, from Savin St. to Maywood, because of that big fenced-off cemented area, where I've mentioned before how we got under the sprinklers there in the summertime. I don't know what the purpose of all that area...don't remember ever seeing cars parked in there. Odd.

Anyway, by looking at the map, you can picture some of the things. How about the big, green water fountain I've spoken of before ? It was right on the sidewalk, near to the street, right between Savin St. and Maywood St, halfway between. can't you just picture that ??

To go to Kasanof's Bakery, we would walk from our flat there on Maywood, down to Blue Hill Ave, just a short walk, then, go left on B. H. Ave, just another short walk, and we were at the bakery ! If we were going to Dewey St. Drugstore, we had to cross the Avenue, and continue walking another short way to get there.

Sometimes, during the winter, Mamma would send Paul and I, pulling his wagon, to the National D store to get bags of 'coke', a fuel for the stove. It was cheaper than coal. Our Daddy had hurt his back from all the bags he used to haul on his back, and it caused a hump from all the coke he carried, so when we were old enough, we would do it, with the wagon.

The National D store was not a supermarket, much smaller, and painted a bright blue. It was just a little further than Dewey Drugs, on that same side of the street.

Right ON Dewey St. was a little Mom and Pop store, where we could get cups of sherbet, or 5 cent grab-bags full of candy. You didn't know what kind of candy until it was opened. Usually, they put some pretty good stuff in there ! Didn't get those too often...nickels were hard to come by.

One of the streets you can see on the map is Waverly. The Pastor of our church, Dudley St. Baptist church, lived there with his wife. Don't recall if they had a family or not. They were very sweet to us kids, had us to their home sometimes. I've mentioned before, how Pastor Brooks looked a lot like the Monopoly game man, a little chubby man like that, mustache and all. such a nice man, too. He would give all us kids a geranium plant during church services, to take home to our mothers on, I think, Mothers' Day. I was always thrilled to have something to give to Mamma !!

Ok, think that's enough for today. Now you can have some fun looking at the street map, and putting all the stories together with where everything happened. I hope you have fun doing it !

Until next time, I love you all so much, my precious children, and grandchildren., nieces and nephews. You all mean the world and more, to me. Always stick together, and be kind to one another .

D

HAPPY DISCOVERY

Yesterday, I decided to Google a bakery from the neighborhood I lived in as a child.

The bakery is still located where it was way back in the 1940's, in Roxbury, Massachusetts, where I and all my siblings were born and raised . On Blue Hill Avenue.

Actually, the bakery isn't there, but the land is, over 3 acres. A new development is being planned and built there, more housing for the people living in the area .

That bakery, Kasanof's, had some of the best bread, and desserts one could ever hope to eat !

They are still in existence, just in different locations. Wonder if their desserts are anywhere near the succulent goodness they once were ! When you bought a piece of cheesecake, or mocha cake, or fruit squares, etc., you were in for a taste treat like no other !! Couldn't beat the price, either ! The portions were huge !! And for 15 cents each !! More than enough for two people to have their fill !

My big sister, Anne, would hand me the 15 cents ( no tax ) and send me to Kasanof's for one of their immense chunks of delicious cheesecake. When I brought it back, she'd cut off a big piece for me, and we'd eat it right there in her bedroom...yummmmmmm !!! So good ! Any time she asked me to go for some, I didn't hesitate, b/c I knew she'd reward me with a big, old piece of it !! Mmmm, those were the days !

All their goodies were so tasty ! The fruit squares, as they were called, were of such variety ! I remember that my sister, Phyllis's favorite was the fig square. I had a lot of 'favorites'...the lemon, the apple, the blueberry...maybe others, can't recall. They were so delicious, and, as mentioned before, huge portions !! Fifteen cents was a lot of money in those days, but you got your money's worth, that's for sure !!

Mamma would send us to buy the day-old bread, for a dime, I think. Good bread, cheap price. Loved their rye bread, either the 'Jewish' rye, or the pumpernickel rye...good stuff !!

So, as I said, finding the bakery was so wonderful...lots of childhood memories tied up in that bakery, and the field behind it, one we kids called 'The Tannery'.

Better yet, was seeing a street map of that old neighborhood, all those wonderful, old streets still there, in the order in which I remember them . Each of those streets hold fond memories for me !

When we moved from Willis Terrace down near Dudley St. way back in the 1930's, some time after my brother, Paul, was born, we moved to Dewey St., quite a distance away. That had to be by horse and wagon, b/c my Dad never drove, as far as I know, and we were still in the transition from horse-drawn wagons to cars, the tail-end of that era.

I was probably about 5 years old when that move from 4 Willis Terrace, to 24 Dewey St. was made, so maybe early in 1935, I'm guessing.

Dewey St. was hilly. The top of it was at Blue Hill Ave., then it sloped down, and we lived at the last house on one side, number 24, on the bottom floor. the young guys, Tony and at least one brother, and, I guess, their parents, lived on the second, or middle, floor. they were always nice to all of us. The boys delivered ice, in a truck, not a wagon pulled by a horse. They're the ones, who, as I mentioned in one of my earlier 'Memories' posts, took me to the hospital, Boston City Hospital, wrapped up in a blanket, when I was 6 years old. Now I forget what for, maybe pneumonia ? Hope that info is in another memory post, b/c I'm drawing a blank just now. : )

On the top, or third floor, lived Sonny Spring and his family. He was bigger than me (wasn't everybody), and maybe a year older. Or not...maybe the same age. He was my 'boyfriend' . In my mind, anyway ! Neat boy...used to give me rides on the scooter he made, from a wooden crate, and a thick, short board, on which he nailed some old-fashioned roller skates. He used to let me sit in the box, and he'd give me rides in our neighborhood. That was fun !

During winter time, when there was ice in the gutter, from when there had been rain, and it would freeze, I'd slide on that little bit of ice. Thought that was fun. Simple pleasures ! Oh, the school I attended was John Winthrop Elementary. It was on the street running along the bottom of Dewey St. Not sure of that street's name. There's one on the map, beginning with the letter D, maybe that was it.

Then, around late 1939, or early 1940, from Dewey St. we moved to 13 Maywood St. on the Warren St. end of Maywood (look at the map and you can see those areas). Again, Daddy packed up the horse and wagon. I've mentioned this before, also. Stayed there not too long, Attended Julia Ward Howe Elementary while at that address ! That was close to Nana Lambert's house, so Paul and I would sometimes go to see her. Remember I mentioned that she and her husband had a dog, Peggy, who had a litter of puppies one day while we were there, and we got to see them being born ?

I remember we lived on Blue Hill Ave. in 1940, and the first half of 1941. While there, attended Phillips Brooks Elementary . Stayed there until getting promoted from the 6th grade. That was maybe in 1942. When we moved there, I met Fay Sodekson, who became my best friend. She and her family were Jewish, but don't think they were orthodox . Never heard Fay speak of going to Temple, or of going to Hebrew classes like some of the boys in the neighborhood did. Maybe the girls didn't get to go. Anyway, Fay and I went to Phillips Brooks together, then later, to Patrick T. Campbell Jr. High, and, later yet, to Roxbury Memorial High school. She and I were very close, so close, we stole together ...once ! Real hard-boiled criminals, we were !! : )

On this note, think I'm gonna stop for now. will write more later.

Loving all this reminiscing, since my 'happy discovery' yesterday, and want to write the rest, but tired now, so will pick up where I'm leaving off, later on.

I love this, and love sharing my happiness with you.

Until later.

D

MEMORIES ON FILM

Today my niece, Sue, posted a picture

of my late father, Edward C. Boyden.

I had seen this pic only once before,

when Sue had made DVD's for each of

her cousins and me, of her Mom,

Anne A. Hadfield on some occasion.

I don't think that was a birthday DVD,

but could be wrong.

Anyway, Sue had included this picture

of her grandfather on that DVD. When I

viewed that DVD, it evoked a chuckle,

but today, upon seeing it here on

Facebook, I said, "That's my Daddy",

and burst into tears !!

Why the strong reaction ? I don't

really know, unless it's related to the fact

that my big sister just passed on Memorial

Day, just 9 days ago, and that is still very

fresh in my mind.

I've been having those

thoughts that I think most folks have

when they lose someone as close as a

sibling . You know, thinking, 'I'll have to

ask Anne', or 'I'm going to call Anne

to tell her' something. Or a book or TV

show you want to discuss with her, or

want to ask her about how to make

some dish you want to eat,

temporarily forgetting that she's

no longer here to talk to.

Maybe because of that so recent loss

of my beloved sister, Anne,

the picture of my father brought

a renewed sense of loss, and the

tears were just barely below the surface,

ready to erupt at any time.

It was sweet of Sue to post this one

of my Dad, and I thank her for it.

Made me very happy to see him.

She has been going through her Mom's

old pictures, letters and cards, and

posting some pictures on F/B that I've never

even seen before. I love that, and hope

she keeps on doing it.

That way, too, some family members,

who never got to meet their ancestors

can see what they looked like. I hope

all these younger relatives enjoy seeing

their great-grandparents, and great

aunts and uncles, etc.

So, thanks to Sue Hall, we all can

enjoy these lovely and some funny

family pictures.

Thank you, sweetheart...keep posting !

I love you, loved your Mom, and love

seeing these pictures. Please put more

and more, as you come across them.

D

THE LAW OF ATTRACTION

Am I happy ?

Yes, I'm as happy as I allow myself to be.

Do I not have any worries or concerns ?

Of course I do, but will not allow myself

to become down-hearted and depressed.

It doesn't help, but impedes my thinking,

my hope that things will get better.

I refuse to let the worries I have

about my family's health problems

get me down .

Rather, I subscribe to the school

of thought that things will improve,

draw towards us that which we desire,

in this case, happiness, and better health.

Is it possible to be happy in this

crazed, greedy, corrupt, war-torn

world ?

I say, Yes, but it will take work,

concentration, focus to bring about

the atmosphere with which I,

or we, desire to surround ourselves.

Diligence in watching our thought

patterns can bring this about.

But, neglecting to maintain the

positive atmosphere, can make the

Law of Attraction work just the

opposite, and bring about that which

we do not want, that which we fear

and in which we despair. Those things

will be attracted to us; the very things

we want to put out of our lives.

It takes strength and determination

to remain steadfast in attracting

what we want in our lives. We

can't let our thoughts flit about

willy-nilly, if we want any measure

of control, any measure of

peace of mind.

We must guard against those

destructive thoughts of

unworthiness, self-pity, and worry

asserting themselves again,

if we ever hope to have what

we want in our lives, some measure

of happiness and contentment.

So, yes, it is possible to be

relatively happy, but we must

work towards that end.

A field lying fallow

does not produce anything,

but a field that is enriched with

the necessary nutrients, and

worked on daily, diligently, will

produce an abundant, luscious crop !

Our minds are those fields, and

if we daily feed it good, positive

thoughts, we will see an abundance

of joy and contentment.

And that should make us happy.

Please, all of you, count the blessings

you have now, and be content.

I love each and every one of you,

my super-large family. You all

are very special to me.

D

THE SEARCH

"Will true Spirit come forward, please?"

Nobody moves.

They all just stand there, some looking down, some staring straight ahead,

yet others watching each other in expectation.

"Who will step forward?"

Again, silence.

After a very long time, a shadowy, dark form moves slowly out of the crowd.

It shuffles toward the speaker.

"No, no, you're not Spirit........you're too dreary; full of sadness and suffering.

I feel much misery in you. Go back.

Another glides forward, smiling provocatively, "Will I do" ? it asks .

"You can't be Spirit. You pursue only pleasure and thrills. Go back to your place.

"Perhaps I'm the one you're looking for". Another has spoken.

It marches forward smartly, in true military fashion, clicking it's heels, as it stops

directly in front of Speaker.

Speaker looks Military up and down, feeling the ugliness of war, hate and killing.

Speaker orders it back.

"Hey, Dude, maybe I'm your guy." Oh boy, this one is even less like Spirit

than the others. As it comes forward in it's filthy garb, it is just finishing a can of beer,

which it casually tosses aside. After an enormous belch, it pops a cigar in it's mouth

and lights it, strutting all the while. As it comes closer, Speaker recoils from the stench,

and tells that one to return.

Another approaches. then another and another, each claiming to be Spirit, until at last,

they have all been seen.

But none of them have the magical child-like essence that only Spirit possesses.

Spirit must be gone, forever.

Speaker is very disheartened, and turns to leave.

But, wait !

A tiny voice is heard, from way in back of the pack, muffled by the density of the crowd.

A hush comes over them.

"Wait", it says. I'm here. I am Truth and Light and Love".

The crowd parts, and a brilliant radiance fills the room, so bright that they have to

shield their eyes.

It steps forward, almost floating, as it moves gracefully towards Speaker.

Speaker knows in his heart that this is true Spirit .

"But where have you been? Where did you go?, Speaker asks.

'I've been so lonely, and have had such an emptiness in me".

"I've been here all the time, but it became so dark and crowded, my light was extinguished,

and I fell asleep. I was hidden under all the misery, ignorance, fear and pretense. But, now,

you have exposed them for what they are, and have taken their power from them.

I've awakened from my sleep, and I'm here to be with you always".

Spirit moves toward Speaker, arms outstretched, and melts right into Speaker's body.

Speaker is at once filled with love, warmth and radiant energy.

"Never again will I allow myself to lose Spirit", he says.

I wrote this on April 10, 1993

There were a couple of lines at the end, that I have left out. They don't seem to fit any more.

This seems to fit in somewhat with my last piece here, I think. Hope you all enjoy it.

I love all of you.

D

FACING THE DARK

Darkness can be frightening

Can't see anything, therefore

one becomes full of fear.

We cannot see in the dark,

unlike animals whose eyes allow

them to see perfectly.

Darkness of the Spirit

is more frightening.

If one embraces that darkness,

he cannot see what is ahead of him,

any more than when there is

artificial light to see by, or any

sunlight to illuminate our Earth,

or moonlight to give a gentle

glow in the evening.

The inner darkness is

all-pervasive; it keeps out,

blocks any light, any hope

of being able to see beyond the dark.

Bad feelings ... hurt, pain, anger,

despair, sadness, confusion, terror,

unworthiness, dread, violence

and loneliness reside in that place.

To embrace darkness is to close

oneself off from light, to choose

to be in that self-imposed prison

from which there may be

no escape, no hope.

If one chooses to wallow in

all that mud of bad feelings,

all that muck, is to condemn

oneself to a life of misery.

There is hope, a way out,

if one chooses to take it, to

escape from that awful prison.

He must face those feelings,

confront each of them, and make

the decision to conquer them,

put them out of existence,

once and for all time.

The darkness is very powerful,

but you are more powerful than

your feelings.

You must gather up your strength

to be able to face down these demons,

Don't let them conquer you !

Examine each one, find it's flaws,

its weaknesses.

You must take control of your

own mind and heart, and

defeat your enemy, those terrible

feelings that have grabbed hold

of you, and don't want to let go.

Feelings are intangible, without

substance. You, your mind, is real,

and only you can pull yourself up

out of the muck and mire of

bad feelings. Only you can

chase those bad feelings away.

Take control, and free yourself

from that cold, damp prison cell.

I hope you will carefully read

these words, and take them to heart.

You MUST take control and stop

letting these rotten feelings run

rampant through your mind and heart.

You CAN do it; others have done it,

and you have to fight hard, every day,

every time one of these negative feelings

comes over you. Stop and look at it, see

how weak it really is, and without your

consent, it really has NO power.

When the next one comes along, do

the same thing. As you do this to each

of them, they will lose whatever power

they have had over you, and you can then,

as the saying goes, 'kick it to the curb'.

It won't be easy, it will take strength

and vigilance to see it coming and

head it off, before it can do any harm.

As each one leaves, replace it with a

positive thought or feeling, and if

you do this consistently, one day, all

those lousy feelings will be a thing

of the past, and you will be full of,

if not actual happiness, at least

contentment, peacefulness, and serenity.

I am praying for you, please do this

for yourself. Never mind what the people

in your life say, their words do not matter.

What you say to yourself, what YOU

think, is what matters.

Take charge of your life, your destiny.

I love you.

D

THE LOST SOUL ?

Oh, no, the soul can not be lost.

It knows exactly where it is,

where it is going and why.

The human, however, CAN be lost,

floundering, not knowing who

he is, where he is, and

where he's going... or how

he is going to get there, or

even WHY he is going.

The human stumbles along,

meeting obstacle after obstacle,

and either learns how to overcome

each one he encounters, or

spends LIFETIMES, trying

to learn how to overcome them.

The human is frail, and can be

easily stumbled or confused,

whereas the soul possesses great

strength, and resources for knowing

who, what, how, where, when and why.

The soul has infinite patience

and can wait as long as necessary

to fulfill it's deep longing to

be 'Home' .

Although we sometimes have to

come back, again and again to

this life, we know that we were

sent here to learn something.

Once the soul becomes human,

it forgets the purpose, the reason

why it came to Earth. There is

a reason, but that reason becomes

lost or confused in the human

brain. It's there, but life's experiences

tend to keep it hidden or in

abeyance until such time as the soul

realizes it has fulfilled its purpose

here on Earth and is ready to go

to its original HOME, to God,

to whom the soul belongs,

there to reside forever in peace,

harmony and love with all it's

fellow souls who have completed

their journeys as well.

I wrote this back in 1995, and just came across

it yesterday. thought it was pretty good,

so decided to post it in hopes that some

of you will enjoy it as well.

Keep counting your blessings, and know that we,

the human race, are all ONE.

I love you.

D